The term “internalised” refers to the process by which we take external beliefs, values, or standards and adopt them as part of our own beliefs and self-concept. When something is internalised, it becomes ingrained within our mind, often influencing thoughts, feelings, and behaviours without necessarily being conscious of it.
How internalisation occurs
It typically evolves through repeated exposure to certain ideas, behaviours, or expectations, particularly from influential people in our lives, such as parents, teachers, or society at large. For example, if a child is praised only when they are polite, they may internalise the belief that their worth is dependent on being polite. Over time, this belief becomes a core part of how they see themselves, influencing how they act and how they feel about themselves in various situations.
Examples of internalisation
Cultural Norms: People internalise cultural norms about what is considered acceptable behaviours, appearance, or success. These norms then shape self-image and decisions, even when they are not actively thinking about them.
Parental Expectations: A child who is frequently praised for academic achievements may internalise the idea that their worth depends on achieving in school. As an adult, this person might feel anxious or inadequate if they do not meet similar standards in their career, even if their parents are no longer pressuring them.
Gender/sexuality: Societal expectations can be internalised, leading individuals to adopt behaviours, attitudes, or aspirations that align with what is expected of their gender or sexuality. For instance, a woman might internalise the belief that she should get married and have children, even if she has other personal or professional ambitions. A gay man may believe there is a certain look he has to achieve to fit in to societies view of what gay men look like.
The impact of internalisation
Internalised beliefs and values can be both positive and negative. Positive internalisation might include adopting healthy habits, ethical principles, or self-esteem based on unconditional love and acceptance. Negative internalisation, however, can lead to self-limiting beliefs, low self-esteem, or behaviours that are more about seeking others’ approval than fulfilling true desires.
When beliefs are internalised, they often operate automatically, influencing decisions and feelings in subtle but powerful ways. This is why internalised ideas can be difficult to recognise and change; they feel like who we are, even though they originated from external sources. Recognising and reflecting on these internalised beliefs is a crucial step in personal growth and self-awareness.
