“We can never see past the choices we don’t understand” THE MATRIX
Some believe that having choice is what separates us as the dominant species on the planet. Individuality, the ability to determine and control our future. We consider some choices over weeks and months (such as buying a home) and some in a split second without any consideration.
The abundance of choice can sometimes be challenging, for example is it better have the choice of 5 different types of baked beans at the supermarket or have only one option? We can be influenced or even coerced when it comes to fashion, furniture and food by aggressive advertising.
At Mind & Mission we often support individuals who are struggling to decide.
Most often the problem is not choice.
Why?
Very often the choice has already been made and the individual knows it, feels it. What they struggle with is understanding and accepting the consequences of the choice.
Lets walk through a couple of examples.
In a recent “ask the expert” article for everywomen.com, a reader wrote in with a problem around CPD. Do I need a mindset shift or a practical one? they asked. I answered this initially with “when we articulate an issue in the form of a question, it can be a way of asking ourselves for permission to make a different choice.” I go on to say “you probably already know the answer, which means the real questions is what are the consequences of making a different choice at work?”
What if you had two equal job offers and you knew one was better career wise but the other was better for your work life balance? It maybe that there’s feelings of guilt around choosing life balance over career prospects or vice versa choosing career over personal life. Either way the dilemma isn’t the choice of job, it’s overcoming the guilt.
This is the work we do with clients, supporting them to overcome the complexities that arise through choices.
Think about this the next time you are faced with what you believe is a difficult or impossible feeling choice. Instead of focussing on the choice itself, focus in on the consequences and how you might understand and accept them.
By reframing it this way you may be able to see that the choice itself isn’t the problem.
