Anxiety, though a natural part of the human experience, can sometimes escalate into a paralysing force. Safety behaviours are a mechanism our mind uses in an attempt to cope with the overwhelming feelings. These actions seem harmless and often we are completely unaware of them. Nevertheless, they provide relief.
The problem is, these behaviours, sometimes called self-defeating behaviours can inadvertently reinforce anxiety, making it a vicious cycle that hinders progress. Understanding and addressing your safety behaviours is a crucial step towards overcoming anxiety.
The Contradiction of Safety Behaviours
Safety behaviours are specific actions, thoughts, or avoidance strategies that we employ to relieve feelings of anxiety. They create a temporary reprieve, offering the illusion of control over a perceived threat. These behaviours can range from physical actions like avoiding crowded places to mental strategies such as excessive planning or seeking constant reassurance.
When we rely on these mechanisms, we never have the opportunity to learn that the feared outcome is unlikely or that we can actually handle it if it does occur. Over time, this reinforces the belief that the safety behaviour is necessary for managing anxiety, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Identifying and Challenging
Noticing your actions and those patterns when anxiety rises is a critical first step; this may take some time to “catch it” in the moment so be kind to yourself in this stage.
Once identified, it’s important to challenge your actions. Ask yourself:
- What purpose do my actions serve?
- Am I avoiding a perceived threat, and is that threat genuinely dangerous?
- What would happen if I didn’t engage in this behaviour?
- What alternatives are there?
Gradual Exposure
Once the pattern of behaviours is clear and noticeable, we can start to gradually and consciously choose to refrain from those behaviours. Which may seem too difficult at first, so we start small and with those anxieties that we perceive as tolerable. By facing your fears in a conscious, controlled and supportive way, you can retrain your brain to recognise that the feared outcome is unlikely to occur. In other words, we learn to withstand uncomfortable feelings, because the fact is, uncertainty is a part of life.
Coping Strategies
By identifying, challenging, and gradually exposing yourself to feared situations, you can reclaim control over your life and build lasting resilience against anxiety’s grip. To truly overcome anxiety, it’s essential to replace safety behaviours with healthy coping strategies. Sometimes it’s not possible to achieve this on your own and you may need some support from a therapist or support group. Remember, it’s a journey, and every step forward is a victory worth celebrating.
