In simple terms, othering is what happens when we see or treat someone as fundamentally different from us; “not like me,” or “not one of us.” It’s a way of drawing a line between us and them, often without realising we’re doing it.
To understand othering properly, we first need to get clear on what we mean by culture.
Culture is more than we think
Culture isn’t just about nationality, ethnicity, or religion, although those are part of it. From different perspectives, culture can mean:
- Shared identity: The traditions, language, food, and customs we grow up with.
- Social norms: The “unwritten rules” about how to behave.
- Personal experience: Family dynamics, upbringing, class, education, and workplace environments.
- Psychological lens: The beliefs and assumptions we carry about the world, ourselves, and others.
In therapy, culture is understood broadly. It includes gender identity, neurodiversity, socioeconomic background, and even the culture of being part of a particular profession or community.
In short, therapy recognises we all belong to multiple cultures at once.
Othering
Othering happens when we mentally place someone outside of our own cultural “group.” It can be subtle or obvious.
It might sound like “they’re just very different from me,” or “people like that don’t think the same way we do.”
At its more harmful, it can involve stereotyping, exclusion, or even discrimination.
From a psychological perspective, othering is often an automatic process. Our brains are wired to categorise and that’s a positive because it helps us make sense of a complex world quickly. But the downside is that we can reduce people to labels or types rather than individuals.
Othering in therapy
In a therapeutic setting, othering can show up in both the client and the therapist, and it can quietly affect the relationship.
A client may feel “othered” if they believe the therapist doesn’t understand their background or experiences. This might not be something the therapist has said outright, it can be a feeling.
For example: a client from a working-class background may feel judged or misunderstood by a therapist they perceive as middle-class, or someone exploring their neurodiversity may feel “different” and assume the therapist sees them that way too.
This sense can lead to holding back important thoughts or feelings, feeling unsafe, misunderstood or worse, disengaging from therapy altogether.
Therapists are human; they carry their own cultural assumptions, beliefs and unconscious biases.
Othering might show up as struggling to relate to experiences outside their own cultural frame or subtly positioning themselves as the “expert” and the client as “different.”
Good therapy involves recognising this and working actively to avoid it; one of the many reasons psychotherapists must engage in regular clinical supervision.
Awareness over perfection
From a psychotherapeutic perspective, it would be unrealistic to try to eliminate all bias. Instead, the focus is on awareness and curiosity.
Therapists are trained to reflect with questions like:
- What assumptions am I making about this person?
- Am I seeing them as an individual, or as part of a category?
- How might my own background support how I understand them?
For clients, therapy can also be a place to explore experiences of othering:
- When have I felt like I didn’t belong?
- How has that shaped my self-image?
- Do I ever “other” myself?
This last point is important. Sometimes, othering isn’t something done to us, it’s something we internalise.
If someone has repeatedly felt different, excluded, or misunderstood, they may begin to see themselves that way.
This can sound like: “I’m not like other people,” “There’s something wrong with me,” or “I’ll never fit in.”
In therapy, this becomes an opportunity for compassion and curiosity. Where did these beliefs come from? Are they accurate? Or are they learned responses to past experiences?
Moving beyond
Culture and identity matter deeply, so we don’t ignore or invalidate difference, we instead, hold two truths at once:
- We are different in meaningful ways
- We also have shared needs and emotions
When therapy works well, the relationship itself becomes a space where othering is reduced. Left unchecked, othering can create distance, misunderstanding, and disconnection.
In a therapeutic context, noticing it is powerful. Whether you’re a client or a therapist, simply asking “Where might I be creating distance here?” can begin to shift things.
Because ultimately, therapy is about connection and connection can only exist with genuine attempts to understand each other.
References
Oxford English Dictionary – Defines othering as treating a person or group as fundamentally different or alien.
British Psychological Society – Describes culture as shared beliefs, values, customs, and behaviours that influence how individuals interpret the world.
British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) – Ethical framework highlights the importance of: cultural awareness, avoiding discrimination, respecting diversity in clients.
Strunz, Ruth. M. (2025). Neurodiversity-Affirming Psychotherapy: Clinical Pathways to Autistic Mental Health
