As an integrative psychotherapist, I am trained in a range of different therapeutic models. Recently Louise announced she is studying EMDR, an important new technique frequently used to treat trauma. I’ve recently been delving more into psychodynamic theory.
We have probably all heard of Sigmund Freud, the “father” of this theory. All therapeutic theories seek in some way to explain how our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are connected; Psychodynamic theory dives into the unconscious mind. One key concept or tool, within this theory involves two specific triangles: the Triangle of Conflict and the Triangle of Person. These triangles help therapists understand internal (intrapsychic) and interpersonal dynamics that drive our emotions and actions.
I’m fascinated by this concept and its application in therapy, I’ve tried to break it down in simple terms.
The Triangle of Conflict
The Triangle of Conflict is a model used to explain the internal emotional struggle that we often experience. It consists of three points: Feelings, Anxiety, and Defences.
Feelings: These are the raw, authentic emotions that we experience in response to various situations. They can include anger, sadness, joy, or love. However, these feelings are not always easy to express or even recognise, especially if they are uncomfortable or perceived to be socially unacceptable.
Anxiety: When we experience uncomfortable feelings, it often triggers anxiety. Anxiety acts as a signal that something within us is stirring that we might not want to confront. It can be a vague sense of unease or a more intense feeling of fear or panic.
Defences: To manage this anxiety, our mind develops formal and tactical defences. Defences are behaviours or thoughts that protect us from feeling the full impact of our emotions. Formal defences prevent our conscious from experiencing “dangerous” feelings. For example, being overly rational to avoid feeling anger. Tactical defences are those which prevent emotional closeness such as humour, sarcasm or vagueness. While these defences can be helpful in the short term, they often prevent us from fully processing our emotions and in doing so can cause problems in relationships and person wellbeing.
From a therapists perspective there are complexities involving the recognition of feelings and the type of defences which indicate a patients level of awareness and ability to participate in therapy. It is not unusual for a patient to respond to defence analysis with anger and irritation towards the therapist, which is most often a diversion from pain and grief patients have caused themselves by relying on defences. Although anger toward the therapist must eventually be dealt with, it is up to the therapist to maintain a focus on the effect of defences before proceeding to the experience of the anger. Only when patients can see their contribution to the problems, should the transference feelings be explored. If a therapist does not ensure there is clarity in this space, the therapist can be viewed as insensitive and demanding individual.
The Triangle of Person
The Triangle of Person helps to understand how these internal conflicts (explained above) play out in relationships. This triangle is made up of: Past Relationships, Current Relationships, and the Therapeutic Relationship.
Past Relationships: These are the relationships from your early life, often with parents or primary caregivers. These relationships are crucial because they shape our expectations and behaviours in later relationships. If a person had a difficult or traumatic relationship in the past, they might carry unresolved feelings into their current relationships.
Current Relationships: These are the relationships you have now: friends, family, or colleagues. The patterns of behaviour and emotional responses learned in past relationships often resurface in these current relationships, sometimes causing conflicts or misunderstandings.
Therapeutic Relationship: This is the relationship between the therapist and the patient. In therapy, this relationship is a safe space where the patient can explore and understand the feelings and behaviours stemming from past and current relationships. The therapist can help the patient recognise how past experiences influence their current life and guide them in making healthier choices.
How These Triangles Work Together
The Triangle of Conflict and the Triangle of Person are interconnected. The emotions and defences from the Triangle of Conflict often manifest in the dynamics described in the Triangle of Person. For instance, unresolved anger from a past relationship might create anxiety in a current relationship, leading to defensive behaviours like withdrawal or aggression.
In therapy, “working the triangles” can help to see patterns in emotions and relationships. By recognising these patterns, you can work through the anxiety and defences to address the root cause of deep feelings, leading to healthier emotional experiences and stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
In summary, these two triangles offer a model for understanding the complex interplay between our inner emotional life and our interactions with others. They provide psychotherapists with a framework to uncover the hidden dynamics that often drive our behaviours, allowing for greater self-awareness and personal growth.
Kirsty
Reference: Intensive Short-term Dynamic Psychotherapy by Patricia C. Della Silva
