Thought Distortions are patterns of thoughts that are stacked against us. It’s where our brain develops connections that aren’t really true; the conclusions we jump to without looking at the facts of the situation.
More often than not when situations are uncomfortable or difficult we attach meanings that are unhelpful, or really weighted against us, in other words negative and not necessarily realistic or accurate. We do this because we are hard wired to protect ourselves. Negativity is our way of being prepared for danger, threat or risk.
To find out if you are experiencing thought distortions, firstly, ask yourself three questions:
- Am I taking a relatively simple event and drawing a harsh conclusion about myself?
- Am I deciding that this one thing defines me entirely?
- Does the conclusion lead me to feel better or worse about myself?
If the answer to any of those questions is yes, then it’s likely you are in a negative thinking pattern. Noticing our unhelpful thoughts can be a really powerful way to support our emotional wellbeing.
Here are a few examples to consider:
Catastrophising
Taking a relatively minor event and imagining all sorts of disasters from that one event, without perspective. For example: you’re waiting on your teenager coming home, they were meant to be home at 10pm, at 10.05 you imagine they have accepted a lift home from a stranger, at 10.08 they’ve been in a terrible accident and by 10.15 you’re imagining they’re dead in a ditch. To overcome this, we need to gain perspective and consider less terrifying alternatives by weighing up the evidence.
Black & White thinking
This is similar to catastrophising but about the all or nothing extremes. You’re trying to lose weight and end up having a cake, all or nothing thinking would make you decide that the whole thing is now pointless, your plan is in ruins you may as well eat the whole box. You can both lose weight and have moments of temptation. Extreme thinking can lead to extreme behaviours, so we need to develop reasoning skills. Think like a thermometer in degrees of temperature and not just hot or cold. Also, be realistic, life is full of mistakes, accept this reality and move forward.
Fortune-telling
Predicting a future that you can’t possibly see. “I’m going to get fired if I don’t get that piece of work in on time, I’ll have to sell the house, the car, my partner will leave me, and I’ll be out on the street”. Understand that past experiences do not determine your future and that we tend to predict what we fear the most. Consider that “guesses” may be wrong and be prepared to take some risk.
Low frustration tolerance
Labelling difficulty as “unbearable” has a lot to do with the language we speak in our own head. If we can change our internal voice to less extreme or more positive language it can really benefit our overall mental health. Push yourself to do things that are uncomfortable and practice really living in the reality of levels of difficulty rather than extremes.
Learning to recognise and manage our thought distortions isn’t something you can do overnight, it’s a rest of your life deal; practice a little every day and you can really tune into your thoughts.
The good news is you have plenty of opportunity, we have around 6000 thoughts every day!!!
