Why is it that we resolve to have “just one more”?
I don’t do moderation, I’m so unbelievably all or nothing. I didn’t realise this until reading a book by best-selling author Gretchin Rubin called Better Than Before. She theorises that we are either moderators or abstainers.
Abstainers are all or nothing with habits. As an abstainer I become paralysed and consumed by debating and negotiating with myself about how much I can have. If I had it last week can I have it again? How much is too much? If it becomes off limits – so setting a rule for myself – it becomes much easier. Rubin says that an abstainers desire for something increases as they get a taste for it (chocolate for example). I however, always thought that was just greed, imagine my delight that it’s just my biological make up!
Moderators on the other hand work well with “just some”. They can just have a little piece of chocolate and put the rest in the fridge for another day, they can have “just one more” glass of wine and actually only have just one more. Moderators find it difficult to understand why on earth it can be easier to deprive yourself than follow for example the 80:20 rule. Moderators in comparison to abstainers love the “first bite” then start to lose interest.
Which one are you?
The author also goes on to describe what she calls the “Four Tendencies”. Are you an Upholder, Questioner, Rebel or Obliger? I highly recommend the book, it’s a fascinating read.
Reference: Gretchin Rubin, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives (ISBN 978 1 444 76902 9)
